Friday, March 30, 2012

#105 Alone


Crap. Why am I crying all the time in this country?

My son spiked a fever of 101.9 yesterday. Five weeks of fevers. So far he’s received five days of IV quinine, seven days of oral quinine, two weeks of primaquine, three days of malarone, seven days of artemether, one dose of fansidar, one dose of mefloquine, a week of bactrim, a week of amoxicillin and a week of azithromycin.

It’s now officially unlikely to be malaria, typhoid, urine infection, pulmonary infection... well, it’s unlikely to be any normal infection at all. Or even any abnormal one.

We’re left with leishmaniasis, brucellosis, tuberculosis, cytomegalovirus, Epstein-Barr virus, mononucleosis, mycotic infections, other parasites and even rarer things. None of this is likely. But I’m praying for one of these infections.

Because the alternative is either debilitating autoimmune disease or else cancer. Leukemia just fits so well.

Fevers with no obvious source. Weight loss. It’s all there. And I remembered last night that on one of his first peripheral blood smears, the lab guy wrote leuk+++. Lots of leukocytes. Leukemia.

Please God, no.

We decided last night to get Danae and Zane home. They don’t yet have their tickets. In fact, they don’t even have their passports yet. All our passports are in N’Djamena, waiting for the association to renew our expired visas. Hopefully she will pick up the passports this morning and bribe her way out of the country on expired visas later on today. If all goes well, Danae and Zane will arrive in Washington, DC Sabbath or Sunday. Zane will then be seen Monday.

(Can anybody get me in with the Washington, DC pediatric version of House Monday morning?)

We packed until 2am. We woke up at 4am. I carried my nine-month-old, the most precious and beautiful nine-month-old in the world out to Augustin’s car. And I held him. And I cried. And I kissed him. And I cried. I could not give him up.

Have you ever sent your nine-month-old thousands of miles away, continents away, for an unknown diagnosis and an unknown treatment. A potentially lethal diagnosis. I can’t stop crying. And I don’t feel like I ever will.

This place is too much. This place is too hard. This place breaks your heart. I can’t stop crying. My precious son.

I still can’t believe I just sent away two of the three most dear people in this world. Two-thirds of all I care about in life just drove off, leaving me standing beside the car, unsure of what state I will find them in the next time we meet. Will I see him next in perfect health? In a hospital bed in America, tied up to an IV and looking worse? Will I see him next in Heaven? I don’t know. I only know that I’ll never see him the same again. It will either be better or... not better. And I’ll see him through different eyes. I promise to never take him for granted.

I hate this. I hate all these tears. I don’t like sobbing. This should not be necessary.

Why didn’t anybody tell me about all this? Where were these missionary stories while I was growing up? Where did this fit into all the books about third-world family vacations, about baptisms, about... about everything that I’m not experiencing here. Nobody wanted to publish those books, did they? I suppose nobody wanted to read those books either.

I just can’t take this uncertainty. I’m not strong enough. I don’t want to be strong enough. It’s the not knowing that kills me. I’d trade anything just to not need to deal with the uncertainty anymore. The lack of a clear diagnosis. No. I take that back. I’d trade anything to have my son back in my arms and healthy again. I’d trade everything I own. Everything I could ever own. I’d trade my work. I’d trade my education. I’d trade my position. I’d trade my experience. God, I’d trade my life.

Next Friday will mark the one-year anniversary of losing the son I wanted to adopt. God, please don’t take this one too. We even named him Zane, because we couldn’t bring ourselves to name him Zeke. Similar, but not the same. Different ending, we hoped. God, don’t make their ending similar. Give Zane another 100 years. Just make him outlive me. After Zeke died, we made a deal. I’m the next person from this family to go. You need to hold up Your end of this deal.

Danae is now on her way to N’Djamena with Zane.

I was so strong last night for Danae. Now who will be my strength? I will go on. I will be the good missionary soldier. I will stay at my post and await further instructions. I will treat kids with malaria and watch them get better, just as I expected my son would.

I’m lying in bed, having slept two hours and unable to sleep any more. It’s just starting to get light out. My three-year-old is a room away. I’m sick to my stomach. My vision is blurry, my nose is running, my lips taste like salt and there are pools in my ears.

I’ve never been more alone in my life.

If this is not rock-bottom, I don’t want to know it.


  1. PRAYING for you, Olen!!! God is a very Present Help in trouble. Praying He will continue to hold you and your precious family - AS He has promised!

  2. Any time I woke up last night I was praying for Zane -- I felt impressed to constantly be lifting you all up -- now I know why --- Will keeping lifting you up --- strength is what we are praying for

  3. I'm sitting here crying with you. My niece was diagnosed with leukemia recently, so I feel a little of your heartache. There is always hope, though. She had two mono tests come back negative, then leukemia positive. Before starting radiation, the pathologist did one last test. It was mono. We'll never know if three tests came back wrong, or if God stepped in with his healing. I'll be praying for a similar outcome to your story.
    ~Jenni (Danae's friend from OAA)

  4. Praying for you Olen. Praying that God will comfort your heartache and heal your baby so your family can be together again. ~Paula Mitchell (another of Danae's friends from OAA)

  5. Praying for you, and for the journey for Zane and Danae and for the doctors as they move forward. My heart is so full of a desire to help this morning as I go off to work--inspired with this desire because I see you guys placing every difficulty and every worry before God and it calls us to do the same. Praying, praying for you and your family.


  6. Olen, we are always praying for you guys. Roxxy has been praying for Zane at every opportunity. I have no major words of wisdom for you, friend. But do know that God will not give you more than you can handle. Much love and prayers from Perla, Rick and the babes.

  7. I know a little bit about the fragility of good health since my stroke in November, and I know a little bit about feeling like you have hit rock bottom. I pray that you and Danae will feel God's arms holding you up through this terrible challenge and that God will allow Zane to have complete healing so that you can hold him in your arms again very soon.
    Tiffany Bartsch

  8. Praying for you, for Zane and Danae. Also praying for the doctors that will care for him in D.C. I'm so sorry for your pain . Your don't have to be strong enough, give it to God, he is strong enough. I know it's hard... We went through different kinds of hard while adopting in Kazakhstan but just give it all to him and trust. We all will be praying and I know he hears all of our prayers.

  9. Soooo very saddened by what I am reading and feel the crushing emotions that you are going through. I cry as I read this post. We know that God has a plan..but it's frustrating when we don't understand it or disagree with it. I've been through tough times and everybody says God doesn't give us more when we can handle. I would say "God, you drew the wrong name out of the hat for this one because I CANNOT handle this". I pray that God gives you comfort and peace and that He works a miracle for your little one. You have lots of people praying, and prayer moves the hand of God.

    Mindi (friend from OAA)

  10. Your family is in my constant prayers, Olen. As I read your latest post, and posts from your time with Zeke, my heart aches for you. Even though we are many stories, years, and experiences apart from high school, I wish I could do or say something to help during this harrowing time. I'm pulling for Zane and will send good thoughts and energy his way and pray for a miracle while he's here in DC.

    Suzy Wise

  11. Olen, I tried to write a comment ... too long! So here's the link to my comment to you ... its more like a book, just warning you!


  12. Praying for your family EVERY day.
    Jen Williams (Jen Savatovich from WAY back in the AU days)

  13. Olen, I'm praying for all of you, and I have asked my prayer group to pray as well. God has got you, even if His arms feel far away. He can handle the weight of what is in your heart. The name of the Lord is a strong tower!

    Praying and crying out to God with you,

    Abigail Lawrence

  14. Olen, as I read your words about strength, this one verse came suddenly to my mind. Perhaps the Lord meant it for you today: "In quietness and trust is your strength." Isa 30:15

    God knows what He's doing, and you are never, never alone. We stand with you in thoughts and prayers.

  15. Olen, my heart is aching for you and Danae and Zane and Lyol...just all of you! Praying is about all I can do, but believe me I'm praying. If there is anything more I can do you know how to contact me.

    Isa 43:2

  16. Olen, people in the states are praying for you and crying with you. I've asked my church to pray, I've asked facebook to pray, I've asked everyone I think of to pray. I'm going to do it again.

    Holly Jessen, friend from Andrews

  17. Madeline JohnstonMarch 30, 2012 at 6:15 PM

    As I sit here in the comfort of a Berrien Spgs spring day, weeping as I read, I want you to know that I have been praying for your family & for Appels since first reading of the babies' illnesses. I have checked at least once daily for new blogs, hoped for a while that silence meant improvement, yet feared that it meant you were too busy & overwhelmed to write. Now this. This afternoon Bob & I go to Sturgis for the annual seminary faculty retreat. I can assure you we will share the need for prayers, & many will be praying for you--strength for you to carry on, comfort & support & health for Lyol without Mommy, & certainly safe travel & total restoration for Zane & Danae. As much as you can find time & spirit to do so, keep us posted. Hugs to you.

  18. Wish I could give you a big hug right now! But I am praying, constantly-- and you got a bunch of extra ones last night (as sleep wasn't coming to me in OK (I thought due to pregnancy fun, but maybe God was suggesting that you needed some extra prayers).
    Ryan is praying for you both as well, as is my bible study group and I know that countless others are as well.

    Love to all of you!!

  19. I'm so sorry Olen! I did not know this was happening. I prayed for you and will continue praying for you. I can't wait till we all can go to our Home and there will be no more tears, no more pain, no more death...

    KeriAnne Kubrock (now Kramar)

  20. Oh Olen, I was weeping as I read your post. It struck an all-too familiar chord with me as I immediately had a flashback to when Ian was so critically ill. I know how utterly helpless you must feel. Know that our family is lifting little Zane up in prayer and praying for strength for you and Danae.

    P.S. Just because the pediatrician side of my brain can't help it, the +++leukocytes may be from a leukemoid reaction. Kids' bone marrows are great at pumping out leukocytes in response to infection, but sometimes the response is too exaggerated. So much so that the WBC count can approach 100,000. Hoping that this is the reason why there were so many leukocytes on that smear!

  21. Oh Olen! Thinking of you all, wishing for the very best for Zane and Danae, and hoping you're together very soon. A huge hug from Western MA.

    1. Hi Olen - I have been praying for Zane and the rest of your family, and will continue to do so. cristin

  22. We are praying for little Zane's health to be restored, and that God will be with the Doctor's that he sees in Washington D.C. to know how best to help him. Also praying for you and Danae and your family, and that God's comforting presence and peace will be felt by you.

  23. OMG I dont know you, but I'm crying as I am reading your post. There are no words I can tell you to take that pain away. All I can say is Trust in the Lord, He knows what's best! Hang in there.

  24. Danae helped bring my precious little girl into this world, she will always hold a special spot in my heart. I have a son four months older than yours and as I read this tears continue to fill my eyes so I can't type. I will pray and continue to pray for your Zane. I will pass your story on and know many with great faith that will have him in their prayers. God bless Zane and may you continue to be strong and faithful.

  25. Olen - just got off the phone with you dad. I spoke with the pedi ID doc I work with. She says it sounds like a care of quinine resistant malaria. She recommended all three hospitals your dad asked me about. He is going to the best place for whatever this ends up being. I always tell my residents that physician parents make the worst sick kid parents since they know what all the worst cases are. I know it is horribly hard, but wait until you have the whole picture. They can always hit the EC at allathose hospitals and get a work up started quicker. We are praying for you

    Angie Cobb -Hammonds

  26. Olen - If you'd like to admit Zane at Children's Hospital Boston Danae would be welcome to stay with us, and we know several members of the infectious disease faculty. I think there is not a better pediatric infectious disease care center.

  27. Olen, I cried as I read your post. Kameron and I have prayed and are praying for the whole situation. I've spread the word to my family and everyone is trying to think of how we can help, who we might know who could help medically, etc. I know your parents are in MD, but if Danae needs someone to pick her up from the airport or just anything, my sister Catherine lives nearby and would love to help. Emiliedevasher at gmail.

  28. Hi Olen
    It breaks my heart to hear this news and we will be lifting up your precious child up to God. I cannot imagine what you are going through. I believe that God has you and Danae there for a purpose and a reason, don't ever doubt that. I believe in a great God that can do all things. Please read Psalm 91. Commit it to memory if you can. There are powerful promises there that God did not just put there to fill space. Stay encouraged and trust God. Easier said than done but He is able.

    Kirk and Kanique Nugent

  29. Prayers for you and your family. You are all so strong and faithful, an inspiration to us all.

  30. Olen, you & your little family are constantly on our hearts & in our prayers as you go through this most difficult time! God is your Rock & is holding each one of you in His hands - we trust Him to give you peace.
    Carol & Gary Dodge

  31. Jeanne and Dave JarnesMarch 30, 2012 at 10:10 PM

    Olen, dear boy -- just know that we care so very much and are holding you in our thoughts and prayers. May God grant Danae and Zane a safe trip home and wisdom for all the docs who will be treating your precious baby boy. Our hearts are breaking for you, left alone there in Tchad, not knowing the future. Blessings and peace and courage to you as you go through this trying time. We love you!

  32. Olen, I can't begin to imagine what you're going through right now. My heart aches for you! I can't help but think of the biblical story of Job. We certainly don't understand why we have to suffer, but God knows that you won't let go of Him! Others have, no doubt, already been moved by your courage and I'm sure many more will be. I'm praying that God will provide an answer to your son's illness, and will heal him. I'm also praying that if God doesn't choose to heal him that He will give you and Danae the strength to go on. "They that sow in tears shall reap in joy!" Psalms 126:5 Someday we'll understand why we've suffered! Keep holding on!

  33. Hi Olen. We've never met; I heard of you through Rachel McLaughlin. I pray that our Father will sustain you and your family through this and give you peace. -Jenny Mas-Moya

  34. Olen, we have never met but my family is keeping your family in our prayers as you go through this difficult time. I knew Danae at SAU and Danny (my husband)met her in Africa as an SM and at LLU. You are both such and inspiration and light to others and we hope for a speedy recovery for little Zane.
    -Heidee Hanson

  35. Olen & Danae my heart cries with you! I have always been so proud of both of you and your willingness to use your talents for God's work. Olen, I pray that you may feel God's arms wrapped around you and that you will be filled with peace and not feel so alone. I pray that you and Danae will have the strength to handle what comes your way. I pray for Zane to be healed to glorify God. You and your family are loved by so many and are held up in prayer! May God bless you and your family with many miracles of healing.
    Many prayers and love to you and your family!!
    Shawnda Friesen (friend from OAA)

  36. My heart is breaking for you! I read your post and tears just poured down my face. You all have been through so much and not just you but other families that work with you. How very very hard! I have family and friends that live near DC as they work at the GC. If you need help let me know and I know they would move heaven and earth to help you all. I wish I lived there. My house would be your house...and I would help in any way I can. (who cares that we have never met). But alas I am down near SAU and that is a long ways for WA DC. Praying for you all so much! May Jesus hold you close to his heart tonight. May he work it all out for your wife and precious little son to make it safely back to the USA and to find the help they need. Just praying so very very much! Karen Glasford

  37. Many prayers for you and your family! When I can't seem to think or pray because I am broken I recite the Serenidity prayer. May the Holy Spirit surround your family.

  38. Olen, have Danae call Jess as soon as she can. We have been talking with Esther Liu, Isaac Kim's sister, who is the Chair of her Pediatric Hospital group in D.C. She can give her some good names of some Hem/Onc and Infectious Disease doctors for her to see while she is there. We are praying so hard for you guys right now.

  39. Olen & Danae, know that many are praying along with you and for your family. The Lord led me to share this passage, hoping it may uplift you all and gives you strength as you read and even perhaps pray it outloud:

    Psalm 107 - 9 For He satisfies the longing soul, And fills the hungry soul with goodness.13 Then they cried out to the Lord in their trouble, And He saved them out of their distresses. He sent His word and healed them, And delivered them from their destructions. They see the works of the Lord, And His wonders in the deep. For He commands and raises the stormy wind, Which lifts up the waves of the sea. Then they cry out to the Lord in their trouble, And He brings them out of their distresses. He calms the storm, So that its waves are still. He also blesses them, and they multiply greatly; And He does not let their cattle decrease.

    Arthur & Rebecca P.

  40. Here's another one praying for you and Danae. My heart is with you and yours!

    <3 Bekah

    "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope." Romans 15:13 (ESV)

  41. Oh Olen, my heart breaks for you! I am praying and will ask all my friends to pray too. God will be your strength, keep clinging to Him! No words I say can really help, I just pray that God will comfort you as only He can!

    Autumn (Eric's sister)

  42. Olen and Danae,

    Your post is so heart wrenching because it's coming straight from the heart of you, a parent, and as parents, we fought the tears as well because we can only imagine what you're going through. We are praying for Zane, and the rest of you guys. We hope and pray that you get good news and soon. Also praying for a lot of distractions for you these next few days as waiting is the hardest part.

    ~Kai and Kristi

  43. My heart breaks for you. Thank you for your sacrifice for others. We will be praying for you all.

  44. Have been and will continue to pray for all of you, Olen. Our children are so precious to us and it's so difficult to think of them as ultimately belonging to God. Remember He loves them even more than you do. The devil's working extra hard, which proves you're accomplishing MUCH for God. Please know that you are all loved. PMC will be praying for you tomorrow.
    Pat Spangler

  45. This comment has been removed by the author.

  46. Our family's been praying since we heard sometime back through your parents, Olen. We have kids w/ very similar ages and we're specifically praying for of course Zane's health, and strength and clarity of thought for you, Danae and all of your family to pull him through.

    You're bravery is an inspiration to many and you're on the forefront of what I would guess are at least a couple hundred minds. Stay strong. Even now. It's in you.

  47. Danae & Olen,

    Our family is praying for you. We are so sorry to know that Zane is still so sick. We didn't realize that it was still going on. We will keep you all in our daily prayers.

    Estrella & Enrique Vega

  48. Olen, we have been and will continue praying for you, your wife and children. I'd like to say more, but my heart aches for you all and just know we love you!

    Trish Turner & family

  49. Hey Olen,
    Did Danae get the visas to get out? My sis might be able to help them. if they have not.
    I am in DC right now. Jim and I are earnestly praying. Danae's first priority is Zane... if she is in DC, and needs anything... I can help her even pick them up get them food clothes whatever whatever I can do - still have the same old number 909-528-9639.
    asking for God to hold your heavy hearts

    painfully praying this prayer for you but heavily leaning on God who inspired it:
    16The Spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit, that we are the children of God:

    17And if children, then heirs; heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ; if so be that we suffer with Him, that we may be also glorified together.

    18For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.

    19For the earnest expectation of the creature waiteth for the manifestation of the sons of God.

    20For the creature was made subject to vanity, not willingly, but by reason of Him who hath subjected the same in hope,

    21Because the creature itself also shall be delivered from the bondage of corruption into the glorious liberty of the children of God.

    22For we know that the whole creation groaneth and travaileth in pain together until now.

    23And not only they, but ourselves also, which have the firstfruits of the Spirit, even we ourselves groan within ourselves, waiting for the adoption, to wit, the redemption of our body.

    24For we are saved by hope: but hope that is seen is not hope: for what a man seeth, why doth he yet hope for?

    25But if we hope for that we see not, then do we with patience wait for it.

    26Likewise the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities: for we know not what we should pray for as we ought: but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered.

    27And He that searcheth the hearts knoweth what is the mind of the Spirit, because He maketh intercession for the saints according to the will of God.

    28And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose.

    In the Blessed Hope (Love: Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things 1 cor 13 but not on our own),
    Jim and Neeta

  50. olen, i'll continue praying for you guys. i'll have my friends pray also.

  51. My cousin Lindy Rosado shared your story with my wife and I. We would like to pray for your son, you and the rest of your family. This verse has often provided much needed peace in the midst of our trials.
    Jeremiah 29:11-13

    Jose and Colette Rosado

  52. Psalm 28:1-2,6-9

    1 To you, LORD, I call;
    you are my Rock,
    do not turn a deaf ear to me.
    For if you remain silent,
    I will be like those who go down to the pit.
    2 Hear my cry for mercy
    as I call to you for help,
    as I lift up my hands
    toward your Most Holy Place.

    6 Praise be to the LORD,
    for he has heard my cry for mercy.
    7 The LORD is my strength and my shield;
    my heart trusts in him, and he helps me.
    My heart leaps for joy,
    and with my song I praise him.

    8 The LORD is the strength of his people,
    a fortress of salvation for his anointed one.
    9 Save your people and bless your inheritance;
    be their shepherd and carry them forever.

  53. Praying, praying, praying Olen! Lots of prayers and hugs!!!!

  54. Samvel Sargsyan (Armenia)March 31, 2012 at 7:04 AM

    "I will bring to it health and healing, and I will heal them and reveal to them abundance of prosperity and security". (Jeremiah 33:6)
    God will never leave your family... Keep praying & believe...
    We all are praying for you...
    I believe we'll here a good news from you soon...

  55. Hang in there somehow, Olen. I know you feel at rock-bottom, but remember how when we feel at the end of our endurance, God is there, quietly working on our behalf, holding us up and waiting to show His great and mighty power. Meanwhile, just know that hundreds of people are praying for you and Danae and Zane. You'd be crushed by all the hugs if we could all be there to give them to you personally! Love from the Bedells

  56. Praying for all of you! Especially for a good diagnosis and speedy healing for Zane, and that you will all feel God's loving presence holding you throughout this difficult time. Please keep us posted.

  57. I have sent word to all my SDA friends. We are holding Zane and all of you up in our prayers.
    Carolyn D

  58. Olen and Denae, I am Nadine's mom, I just wanted to say I am so sorry about Zane being so sick, I will pray and ask my church family to pray for him and you both. So very sorry for what you are going through. In my prayers, Manuela

  59. bon courage.

    Hold on tight to God because He is there in Bere. I know He is because He called you there and He never leaves us when there is work to do.

  60. Olen,

    All I can think to say is:

    I will lift up my eyes to the hills because my help comes from the the Lord, the great creator, God.

    Praying and crying with you...

    Michaela (AA, Physics class 1995-6)

  61. My thoughts and prayers go to your family!

    My parents were missionaries from the late 70s through the early 90s. We had misadventures as well - my dad got pericarditis, my brother and I got nasty staff infections, my dad almost lost his leg after a hippo encounter, my little brother was almost electrocuted after grabbing a live 220 wire, another brother fell out of a tree and broke his arms and ruptured his spleen but it took 5 days for anyone to figure out about the ruptured spleen...and so on and so forth. There are certainly different risks when you live in a third world country. And yet, the need for you is greater. You can make such a huge impact.

    Anyway, we live in the DC area out near Dulles Airport. If there's something we can do to help your family while they're here, please don't hesitate to contact me. My e-mail is hprouty at gmail dot com.


    P.S. My dad did write *those* kinds of books. Maybe they would be of interest to you. I think you can find them used on the Internet. "Mission Africa: A Light Look on a Once Dark Continent" and "Scar Across the Heart". We lived about half an hour away from the Roberts family as kids so Gary would know these stories. Come to think of it, his family makes numerous appearances in the books.

  62. Olen and Danae,
    We will be praying for you and lifting you up! Our daughter was practicing a hymn she's going to play this morning at church and it seemed so fitting...

    "Alzare mis ojos a los montes, de donde vendra mi socorro? Mi socorro viene de Jehova que hizo los cielos y la tierra. No dara mi pie al resbaladero, ni se dormira el que me guarde. He aqui no se adormecera ni dormira el guarda a Israel." Salmos 121

    Belen Lohr

  63. Prayers coming from Montana. I'll ask the church to pray later this morning, too. You're under heavy attack. Believe me that Satan knows far better than you (or any human) the eternal value of what you and your family are doing. All heaven is cheering you on.

  64. Olen and Danae,
    I am so sorry. Please know that I am praying for all of you. All the time. For your strength, for you to feel God holding you, and for the healing of Zane. Last night I prayed for Danae, imagining her traveling, and for you Olen as you were feeling alone. But you are not. You are never alone.
    In my prayers, heart, and thoughts,

  65. Olen, since you guys left Springfield we've wondered how you guys were doing. It breaks my heart to read what you are going through. Hope you can find even just a little bit of comfort knowing that our God is with you. We will all be praying for you and your family.
    Jinsil Maloney and family

  66. I don't know you or your family, but have stumbled upon your blog. I feel there is a reason for this, and clearly it is to pray. Children are the most valuable thing that God has given us. They have a special place in his heart. When you are feeling alone, please read the comments above and know that there are many prayers going up for your family. Never lose hope!

  67. Never met you guys, seen the request for prayer for your little one. Praying for you and sending love across the miles. God unites us all, and you are part of the Christian family, part of something eternal. Claim God's strength to see you through, He is more than enough. Kim

  68. I work in a hospital Blood Bank, and whenever I see the requests for blood for these little children, I always wonder what it must be like for a parent to see their little ones in pain, and not be able to do anything about it. I could not imagine, and I would not want that experience. I am so sorry that you and your family and your son have had to go through this experience, and I will be praying that God shows up and shows out in a mighty way for you and your family.
    But until then, I just want to remind you of the words of Job, "Though he slay me, yet will I trust in him." (Job 13:15) Know that He will see you through, regardless of how difficult it may seem. Remember also that "weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning." (Ps. 30:5). The night may seem long. But have faith that the morning awaits... God belss

  69. Lifting up Zane's name at Atholon. Your family is in our daily prayers. Love, Ami Hebard Pacylowski

  70. Praying for you and your family. keep your faith.

  71. Olen,
    I am praying for you and Lyol as you wait to hear about the news with Zane and Danae back in the U.S. May God give you the strength to go on and give the doctors the knowledge to help your little son.

  72. We are praying at the Mission SDA Church in Leamington Spa UK. God bless you.

  73. Just discovered your blog. As a physician and parent, my heart goes out to you and your family.

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