Thursday, April 23, 2015

Swiss Steak

Don’t judge me while you read this.

I just downed a can of Swiss Steak. All by myself.

Opened the can, got a spoon, and just started eating it. Before I knew it, the can was empty.  Completely. And this wasn’t the first one this week. It’s like the 5th can.

It might be okay if I had shared some with my sweet children or loving husband. But I just ate them all by myself.

The rice and beans, beans and rice thing is getting old. Toast with peanut butter and mango sauce is good, but not the 20th day in a row (although my husband seems to never tire of it).  Sometimes you just want some good ole’ soybeans, processed to the point of unhealthy and unrecognizable in a form expected to marginally resemble meat in taste and texture!

So this week, I caved in. When no one was watching I would just open another can and down it.  I’ve got one case left. It’s soon to be gone.

What’s next?

Swiss steak now sounds disgusting.

Tonight I downed a whole can of Chili Man all by myself.

Now I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking, ‘Well that’s not so bad.’

The problem was, I snarfed it down WHILE I was preparing my actual dinner.

Now you may still be thinking I’m not a gluttonous gluten-ous pig, addicted to fat and salt tainted with a touch of soybeans. But what if I told you the dinner I was preparing was Swiss Steak sandwiches? Which I ate, despite the appetizer of an entire can of Chili Man.

And I don’t even feel guilty. What’s wrong with me?

As it is I’m always 10-15 pounds skinnier here in Africa than in America! I need calories! It’s so hard to find processed food here!! I’m tired of eating healthy! Give me processed Adventist comfort foods, laden with chemicals!

Thank you Loma Linda (Jerry Daly) for sending us so many cases of veggie meat on the last container!!! I’m not sure who exactly is responsible for donating the veggie meat, but I am so happy to have it! Thank you AHI for sending the container of medical equipment and personal items for missionaries. All those stethoscopes made for a handy cover story allowing us to import cases of veggie meat.

PS. If you don’t know what the vegetarian product Swiss Steak is, you are missing out.
Google it! Then buy two cases. Keep one and send me the other!

PPS. If you happen to be the President of Worthington Foods or Loma Linda Foods, feel free to send us a care package of your finest soy products. We promise to write rave reviews!!! Or if you happen to be acquainted with the President of Worthington Foods, go ahead and let him know we’re waiting. Or if you happen to have internet, Google

Kids unloading crutches from the container
that came in November

‘President Worthington Foods’ and tell him to hook us up!!!

1 comment:

  1. Totally not judging. :) I'm glad you have it and can enjoy it!